Viva Las Vegas
by Calvin the Trumpeter
Summary: The jazz band is let loose in the happiest place on earth... Vegas. Featuring Green Day and an evil, stalking Elvis...Finally complete!
1. Introduction to destruction

A/n: I don't own anything  
  
As Calvin walked into Jazz band practice, he knew that there was something wrong. First of all, the saxophones were all playing the same song. The drummers were doing their homework. The trombones were having...TEA TIME!!!!?????????  
  
"Hello, Calvin, it looks like you haven't heard. The trumpets have been kicked out of jazz band." It was evil Kat, the bassist. 'Oh @#$^@$Y&%&&%^*I%&&(&(^&I^&#&#&^&#&&&#&#&&' he thought. This can't be happening.  
  
"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed.  
  
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
That was his alarm going off. It had only been a dream. He got up, and showered. Soon, He was on his way to the bus, and would be on the way to Las Vegas, where elvis is sighted once every five seconds, and the women are more loose than most guy's sagged pants. But that wouldn't matter t him, as he was a man with a girl. 


	2. On the road again...

A/n: thanks my two reviewers! You know the deal... no, I don't own anything.  
  
Ch2 : Whoa, was that Elvis?  
  
As he climbed on the bus, Calvin tried to decide who to sit with. He could think of only one guy, Alec, the lead alto. "Paul, Wassup?!" said Al. He was a 12 year old white boy who was not the type to be a slanger. More the Trekkie type.  
  
"Right back at 'cha, kid." Said Calvin. "Hey guys, wanna know something cool? Asked Erik, the drummer, "In Nevada, two things rock. One, there's not tax, two , the 'Red light district' is legal." Al wasn't getting it. "Prostitutes, dude" said erik, who was practically jumping for joy. "RRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGHT" said calvin. He was thinking of Allison, his girl friend.  
Two hours later...  
It was the first pitstop on the road. Calvin had made the comment "Welcome aboard the bus, where the bathrooms don't really count for anything, that's right, their like Stock in Enron." Calvin and Al were hanging out by the bus, when Calvin saw a purple caddilac pull in. A guy in a sequinie costume got out, and paid at the pump. Calvin saw him drop a piece of paper, and caught it as the wind blew it his way. He handed it to the man, and started to walk off, when the man said "Thank ya, thank ya verry much." I 'm now gonna leave the gas station." And he drove off. Calvin walked up to al, who asked him "Whoa, dude, was that Elvis?" 


	3. Welcome to paradise

Hi everyone, its that time again, no, not that (sickos!!!!!!!!!). Its chapter three!!!!!!!!!  
  
Ch 3: Welcome to paradise  
  
  
A few hours later, they finally checked into their hotal, the world famous... Las Vegas holiday inn (weird al gets the credit for this one... sort of). Calvin was in a room with Al and erik. There were only two beds though. "Someone's on the floor" said Al. "Erik, you are!" yelled Calvin. "Why me?" "Al's got his injured leg, and I'm two years older than you." Age before beauty, sucker!" "Mangina" "Crock of S@$$" "waste of semen!" "bovine fornicator!" "Cock Smoker!"  
  
"Guys, guys, settle, I'll take the couch." "ok" replied Erik and Calvin together. "So, lets see whats on tv." The minute he said it, Calvin knew he shouldn't have, as erik shouted out "lets order a 'bad' film!" "Um, no." "whatever"  
the next morning...  
Calvin heard grunting noises, and knew that Erik was off wanking. D@%^, that kid's preverted. The phone rang. He picked it up, and the voice on the line scared the crud out of him. It was his girlfriend. "How'd you get this number?!" "your parents told me!" "Figures... oh well, so whats going on?" "Not much, just sitting here reminiscing" "Cool" "You remember the Beach trip?" how could he forget, it had been the best day of his life. He had gone surfing withhis fellow bandies, spent a day on the beach with Red, those had been the days..." "yeah, what about it?" " Well, are you going again?" " I dunno." "Kay well, I got a go." "Bye, and hey, keep on smilling." "Here's a kiss for luck." They kissed through the phone, then hung up.  
  
Seconds later, he received another call. It was a strange voice on the line. It sounded like elvis... but in an evil way. "Welcome to paradise, you maggot" it said, then hung up...  
Dunt dunt dah!!!!!!!!!!! Dramatic reverb!!!!!!!!!! Is Elvis stalking Calvin? Stay tuned, and review! 


	4. lets get some tacos...

A/n: Okay, kids, I've decided to spice things up even more, by throwing Green Day into   
this mess (Sorry guys). No, I don' t own them  
  
  
Ch 4: Dude, I'm hungry, lets get some tacos  
  
A half hour later, the entire Jazz band was at the local music store. Erik was busy picking   
out new drumsticks, so Al, Calvin, and the Group's sing, misty, were hanging out in the   
electric guitar section of the shop.  
  
Calvin was in the middle of a Green Day song, "Basket Case", when Misty fell out of her   
chair. "Dude, are you ok?" said Calvin. Misty replied "Buh…Buh…Billie Joe   
Armstrong is standing right there looking at you." "Calvin looked around, and sure   
enough there stood one of his two Idols, as well as his band mates, Mike Dirnt and Tre`   
Cool.  
  
"Hey kid, come here." Said BJ. Calvin gulped, and it was about that time that Erik   
started beating out a green day song on the Drum kit. "Erik, come here" said Calvin, as   
he took some slow steps toward Green Day. Al came along too.  
  
"You know, you don't sound to bad. Where ya from?" Said Mike. "Claremont, Ca sir."   
Responded Erik, who was staring at Tre`. "You guys here for the Jazz fest?" asked al,   
ever unaware of who the heck Green Day were. "Nah, were staying here for our concert   
tommarow" said BJ. "Dude, I'm hungry, lets get some tacos" grunted the ever stoned   
Tre`. "Well, it was nice meeting you guys," said BJ, "Maybe we'll see you perform   
today, we got time. What band are you?" "El Ranchero Jr. High sir." Responded Calvin.   
"See you there said Mike, as they left."  
  
At that moment, gun shots rang through the store, seeming to come from a purple   
caddillac in the Parking lot…  
  
  
  
Will Green Day really show up to a Jazz fest?  
What is with Elvis?  
What happened to Misty?  
Stay tuned… 


	5. Basket case

A/n: see previous A/n's  
  
Ch 5: Walkin' alone  
  
"Hit the deck!!!!!" Screamed Calvin, and anyone standing fell flat. Outside, the car started, and made a run to get away. Calvin heard a muffled scream, and ran outside, with Erik following.  
  
They found Tre` on the pavement, he'd been hit by the car. "Erik, were gonna need to start cpr." They went to work.  
  
  
  
Later, at the jazz fest...  
  
  
The Jazz band barely made it to the performance hall in time, but they made it. The kids started to perform, and as Calvin was giving it his all, he saw BJ and Mike. Clapping profusely. He walked up to them after the performance.  
  
"Calvin, um we wanted to thank you for saving Tre`. Do you have any Idea who might have don this" said the, quit, meek Mike. "Well, it seems like Elvis has been stalking me, but beyond that..." started calvin. "Who?!" said BJ. "Elvis" Said Calvin.  
  
  
  
Later still...  
  
Erik and Al were down at the coffee shop on the corner, but Calvin was n the hotel room. Why me, god, why me? He thought. 'what did I do?' He dialed Red, and heard her pick up. "Hello?" "Hi, dear" "Oh hi, Calvin. How'd you do?" "Ok. It seems I have a Stalker." "Who?" "You wouldn't believe me." "Try me, Cal." "Elvis."  
  
  
To be continued... 


	6. Lifetime in the rain

Disclaimer- Wow, omygawd, I updated! Anyway, Here's what's going on. I don't own anything.  
  
A/n- when last we left our heroes (Calvin, Al, and Erik), Calvin was having a heart to heart with his girlfriend, and Erik and Al were in a coffee shop on the corner. And now, ladies and gentlemen, chapter 6...  
  
Lifetime in the rain  
  
"Listen Cal, I have to tell you something," said Red. Oh S#@ thought Calvin. Her tone of voice could only mean one thing, the thing he dreaded most. "Yes," he stammered.  
  
"Well, you're a nice boy and all, but..." she started, but Calvin broken in with a shaky, scared voice "you're breaking it off Red, Don't do this now! Please! Tomorrow is finals! I need you now!" "I'm sorry Calvin." "Why?" "Well..." she began unsteadily, "you...your more of a brother than a boyfriend. Please don't hate me. I...I just need some time." "I understand"   
  
Calvin hung up the phone, threw himself on the bed, and passed an hour getting the tears out. Red had been the only girl who really seemed to accept him. He likened it to living in the rain. Red had been his drive, his fire, and it was suddenly gone within ten seconds. The world seemed so F@#%ed up. He fell asleep listening to the rain falling gently. He had no Idea of what tomorrow would hold.  
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The next morning  
  
  
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When Calvin woke up, there was a phone ringing. He grogally picked it up. "Hullo?"  
Billie Joe Armstrong replied "Meet us in the lobby in twenty minutes"  
  
  
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Well, thus ends another chapter in the ever-continuing storyline. Please Review 


	7. Ha Ha, youre dead

Chapter 7: Ha Ha, You're dead  
  
  
Calvin hung up, and looked at the clock. "Oh Shit!!!!" he yelled. It was 10:56 am. Which of course meant that all the rooms except his had left to do what the wanted. "What is it?" asked an extremely wasted erik. "Bj just called, and its 10:56 in the F&#%in' morning!" yelled Calvin. Then he thought. "Wheres Al?" he asked. "Left earlier. But look at it the way, we do have a bass player." replied Erik. "What the hell are you talking about?" "You know Hector, the bari player?" "yeah" "he agreed to play bass for our band" "cool"  
  
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Later, in the loby  
  
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"Where the hell have you been ?" asked Billie Joe Armstrong. "Sorry. But the fact that you F*%&in' woke us up, we had to get dressed and all" commented Calvin.   
"Listen" said Mike Dirnt, "Our opening act for our afternoon show just cut out. Do you think you could fill in?" their mouths fell open. "sh…sh…sh…sure" "We will need instruments though" said Hector. "well," said Tre, "lets go get them"  
  
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At the music store  
  
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Hector had picked a jazz bass, and Erik had a new drum kit. However, Calvin couldn't find a good guitar. Then he saw it. It was a vintage 1962 Fender Jazzmaster guitar, a surf green color. He knew this was the one.  
  
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Later, at the Green Day concert.  
  
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Calvin was living a dream. He was going to open for green Day. His band had decided to call themselves "conspiracy of 56". They had spent the last 6 hours writing songs. They had the basic Green Day set up, meaning Calvin sang and played guitar, and Hector took backing vocals while bassing.  
  
Billie joe walked out on stage to introduce them ,and then the time came. They took the stage and started with a cover of the offspring's "the kids aren't alright". Next, they broke into a song they'd written called "Catch-22" just as calvin went into his crazy solo, Justin timberlake parachuted on stage and fired shots.   
  
"You must now obey the Evil Pop Regeime!" he yelled. When a fan tried to jump him, he shot him. More pop stars appeared. They were all armed. Green day joined Conspiracy of 56 on stage. They were still out number, when suddenly a mellodious trumpet sound started playing Tiger rag. The angel of Louis Armstrong appeared, and his playing seemed to weaken the pop stars. "the music is their weakness! They cant play instruments, so they can only be brought down by music!" And all both bands started Playing. one by one, the popstars sank to their knees, and suffocated. One turned out to be The elvis stalking Calvin The battle was won! Green Day broke into a song called "ha ha, you're dead"   
  
"…Ha Ha you're dead/ the joke is over/ you were an asshole/ and now your gone/ as your ship is goin' down/ I'll go out and paint the town/Ha Ha youre dead, haha youre dead haha youre dead!"  
  
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The next day, back at school  
  
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The bus carrying Calvins jazz Band arrived at school to a crowd of fans for Conspiracy of 56, and reporters. The concert had actually been nationally televised. Calvin headed towards the bathroom, to take a leak, and ran into Allison. "Hi calvin. How are you?" "ok. How bout you" "not bad, listen…" "hey, don't worry. I think we DO need time here. We'll see how things turn out. Personally, I think were better off as friends." he turned round, and walked back into the crowd. He smiled. He knew he'd be ok.  
  
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Oh my god, I finished a story!!!!!!!! Lemme know what you think. Viva Los Dios De Verde! Down with the Evil Pop Regeime!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Read and Review! 


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